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  • Writer's pictureTonya Lampley, Author

How did he die?

As someone on the path to enlightenment I’m often reminded, too often, of just how human I am. This past Sunday was one of those days. I was scrolling through my Twitter feed and read that someone had passed away. Immediately, I wanted to know how. Sure, I felt bad for the wife and his children, but sad to admit, I gave just as much energy to wanting to know how he died. The article just said ‘home accident.'


What kind of an accident happens at home that results in death?


I wanted to know. And I wasn’t the only one. People were tweeting out their questions…”Does anyone know the cause of death?” “Why didn’t the family give the reason?” Some were down-right indignant.


First, let me say, it’s none of our business. How a person chooses to make their grand exit is between them and the God they serve. Second, it’s rude and dishonoring to the family to keep asking or talking about it. In the midst of their grief they have to subject themselves to the news media, social et al, giving the details over and over. Sick.


But…why do we want to know? Especially, when the death seems untimely.

A relaxing scene with a bench next to a tree
The Antidote to Fear of Death is a Life Well Lived

I’ll tell you why. It reminds us of our own mortality. That life is fleeting. That we haven’t become all that we should be, we haven’t done all that we need to do. On the surface it appears to be nothing more than nosiness, but in actuality, it’s a subconscious level fear, reminding us that we still have work to do…on ourselves, and in order to make an impact on the world. Think about it…if you were showing up in the world as your full self, living life as fully and completely as you could, expanding and contributing…when you heard of someone’s demise, would you have any thought other than well wishes for the family they leave behind?

Probably not. You’d have a complete acceptance of the cycle of life, whether long or short and death would be nothing more than an aspect of a life well lived.


What’s my point? Take inventory. Are you living up to measure? Have you mined all that you’re capable of? Are you exploring, expanding, curious about what’s next for you? If not, it’s time to get busy. None of us know the time, but if we’ve lived well…who cares? Certainly not the one who’s transitioned on.


To your journey,




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Tonya Lampley is an author and Certified Life Coach. She is passionate about living life to the fullest and uses skills learned from her work as a coach as well as lessons from her own journey to write articles providing tips for successful living and to tell stories of hope and personal triumph. Her debut novel was titled A Taste of Love and was a National Indie Excellence Awards finalist. Her short story titled Birthday Surprise received honorable mention in the Writer's Digest Short Story Contest. Her first non-fiction book Bad Men will soon be released. For more information about Tonya and her works please visit www.TonyaLampley.com.


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