The Beauty of Suffering
- Tonya Lampley, Author
- Mar 20
- 2 min read
As human beings, we spend our time attempting to avoid suffering. But suffering holds so much value. Whether it's a loss of a loved one, divorce, career failure or illness, suffering brings with it a promise: wisdom, resilience, maturity, strength, compassion---for ourselves and others. The gift in suffering is that it expands us further into the truest version of ourselves. Suffering is a catalyst for growth.
If you are blessed, you have that one older person in your life...an auntie or a grandmother, that you can go to and they always have the solution to your problem. If they don’t, they have words that comfort you. Sometimes just the peace you feel in their hug is enough to soothe your worry and anxiety. It’s because they have endured the cycles of life that always bring suffering at one point or another. They have weathered every storm, and they have learned all the lessons that suffering brings. They hold a wellspring of wisdom and knowledge that they garnered from every disappointment, every shattered dream. They stand before you as a truer, more expanded version of themselves, and they reflect back to you one of the greatest lessons they’ve learned... “You will get through this. And you will be better because of it.” Because of their unwavering knowledge of this truth, we find peace in their presence. That is the gift that suffering brings.
If you are 20 or so, know the journey is just getting started. Life will always bring suffering as a way of expanding you. The trick is to learn how to move through it. We do that by embracing suffering instead of resisting it, and asking ourselves what is the lesson here? Who am I being asked to become?
Let’s say it’s a health issue. Do I need more discipline in my life? In a case where your wife left...do I need to treat the next person that loves me with respect and kindness? If we have lost a loved one, do we need to reframe our view of death as a natural part of the life process and know that our loved ones are always with us? Is it an issue of faith? Patience? Each painful experience in life leads us to the next best version of ourselves.
When you find yourselves in these moments, receive the lesson fully. Embrace suffering as a natural part of the journey of life. Move through it quickly by being open and being willing to examine every part of yourself.
Do not fear the darkness. Suffering breaks us open so that we can hold more light.
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