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  • Writer's pictureTonya Lampley, Author

Your attitude toward sex may be telling you something…

When you think of sex…what does it make you feel? Shame? That it’s a secret or dirty?

Liberation for women, the freedom to determine our own destiny and create the lives we want, is directly tied to how sexually empowered we are. For so long women have been considered as the OBJECT of a sexual encounter instead of a full participant. As you grow, as you root yourself in self love, as you decide your worth and value, your sex life is a direct expansion of that. When you find your voice, your needs and desires start to matter. When you love yourself, you no longer feel shame about anything you do. See the connection?

When we are whole we embrace all parts of ourselves.

Before I continue let me say this:

Being sexually empowered has nothing to do with being reckless. In fact the opposite is true. Freedom is the ability to choose. Discipline…having power over our will, gives us freedom. When we are victims or obsessive or lacking in control, we are not empowered, we are in bondage. Being sexually empowered means accepting and embracing that aspect of ourselves that desires and participates in the very human, very sacred act of sex.

Sacred? You ask? What’s sacred about it?

When you join yourself to someone in that way, there is a bonding...a union that happens, not just physically but spiritually (pick your partners carefully matters). There is a psychic exchange that happens between you and the other person. The concept of 'union' is a spiritual one…disparate parts coming together for a purpose…in this case sex, which produces human life or creates a bond between two people. Think about a non-sexual relationship. Now think about a sexual relationship. A sexual relationship is completely different and usually to a much greater extent involve your mind, body and soul…sometimes your will and sanity, Lol. Sex is far more sacred than most people think about.

But still part of the everyday human experience. Humans eat. Humans drink. Humans sleep. And humans have sex.

Animals do the same thing actually. But somewhere along the way it became dirty for women to talk about, experience, or enjoy for that matter. The subject makes us uncomfortable or fills us with self-consciousness. Truth be told when we can embrace it, enjoy it, be open about it, it is a direct extension and measurement of our self-love and worthiness.

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Tonya Lampley is an author and Certified Life Coach. She is passionate about living life to the fullest and uses skills learned from her work as a coach as well as lessons from her own journey to write articles providing tips for successful living and to tell stories of hope and personal triumph. Her debut novel was titled A Taste of Love and was a National Indie Excellence Awards finalist. Her short story titled Birthday Surprise received honorable mention in the Writer's Digest Short Story Contest. Her first non-fiction book Bad Men will soon be released. For more information about Tonya and her works please visit


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