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  • Writer's pictureTonya Lampley, Author


The comments people making are so telling to me. It's unfortunate that people can't see the wrong here. We all love his music and talent, but this man has literally enslaved women. If you can get beyond that, how can we ignore his appetite for young girls? Not sure what about that makes sense, even if they wanted him. It is wrong for an adult to sleep with teenagers and in some states it's criminal. We'll let the details about that play out in the courts.

So much to unpack here but I can't help but wonder if some of us are defending him because he symbolizes the epitome of black male masculinity. The cornrows, the sexual overture, the I don't give a damn, king mentality. Let's just be black women love us a thug, Lol. And his sex appeal is off the charts, but we can't let that blind us to the fact that this man abuses females. Funny thing is, a lot of women are complaining about their men and how they are being mistreated by them but condemn R Kelly's victims stating they should have known better or they should have left. It's the same mentality. The same lack of self worth and value that found R Kelly's women self- imprisoned is the same mentality that has found many of us as side pieces, cheated on, taking care of men, etc and failing to find enough love in our hearts for ourselves to leave. Yes, we have some responsibility. A responsibility to love ourselves more, but we also have a responsibility as a community of women to speak up for those who aren't strong enough yet, to demand better from men, and to hold men accountable for decency.

I'll also add for those who missed it, RKelly could have his pick of the Beyonces, Rhiannas and look alikes of the world. You have to ask yourself why children? Why did he bypass those successful and sophisticated women and hand pick the ones he did? Shy, lacking in confidence etc. Perhaps he himself was lacking in confidence and self other words, while he got all of us to buy in to his 'king' persona and made millions off of feeding us the lie, it appears he had absolutely zero 'game'. For my Caucasian friends that means he had no confidence when it came to attracting and keeping women. An awareness of this simple truth might be the reason why he felt he had to hold them against their will or find ones who didn't have the heart to leave. Whatever the reason, it's obvious it's steeped in dysfunction.


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